How Holley Sees It

by HOLLEY BARKER

It sure isn't easy raising parents these days. They're more trouble now then 21 years ago when I first started out. I'd always thought once past the mid-life crises the worst would be over, but boy was I ever wrong.

I have always prided myself on being fair and supportive, but raising three parents as an only child can take its toll on any kid and believe me, I¹m getting gray hairs as proof. The past few months, however, have truly tested my parent rearing skills and ability to love unconditionally.

Over the past couple of years I watched my mother and step-father's relationship wither down to nothing. It didn't take a genius to figure out the incessant bickering, personal differences and overall mutual disrespect for one another would inevitably end in divorce, so the news didn't come as a real shock.

I was fully prepared for the day the movers came to the house. I watched them divide belongings and pack our memories without a second's hesitation. Having been through a divorce already with my other father, I knew what to expect. It¹s just one of those things parents go through sometimes. It¹s not something I detested in either case, in fact, it was always the right answer.

I knew my life would change though. Never again would we all sit down for Thanksgiving dinner or take another family vacation. Instead I'd spent holiday breaks traveling the country to visit my parents in their separate homes. My free time would be scarce, but still a small sacrifice for all the joy of being a child.

Nonetheless, everything seemed pretty much under control, or so I thought. The real shock came later as I slowly watched my parents act less and less like adults and more like barracudas. It was shocking because I thought I raised them better.

I was appalled by their actions. I couldn't believe two intelligent, well educated people could act so childishly. And over what - money, having to share retirements, life's unfairness, or even old battles?

It was infuriating because neither one of them ever looked at themselves for fault. My parents - the co-founders of existentialism. It was almost more than I could handle. I thought it reflected me as the child.

Then, I began to reflect on my own life. Memories of my freshmen year of college slapped me in the face hard enough to leave quite an impressionable mark. It made me realize everybody makes mistakes, even my parents. And in retrospect I realize their mistakes can't even compare to my own.

It's just hard to realize your parents aren't perfect. At times they seem almost non-human and incapable of doing wrong. This latest fiasco has really opened my eyes. I guess it's safe to presume my mother didn't have sex just that one time either. And I thought it was all smooth sailing until the time to pick out the nursing home.

I love my parents more today than ever before. Knowing they're not perfect sure has lifted the burden off my shoulders. I just hope my unconditional love comes full circle, especially before my Visa bill arrives this month.

Holley Barker uses positive reinforcement to train her parents. She can be reached at parthenon @marshall.edu.

OPINION

Parents are so
hard to train
these days

Summertime
not always
fun for students

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