Upon Further Review by EVAN BEVINS

Ideas for P.C. name for Redskins

On Monday night, my Washington Redskins faced off against the Dallas Cowboys in a game I lovingly dubbed the Toilet Bowl.

Both teams came into the game with 0-4 records. The losers would pretty much be the worst team in the NFL.

The Redskins lost, 9-7.

It already looks like Washington will have to start over from scratch next season. That should open the door for another overhaul -- getting a new mascot.

I've tried, but there really is no way to defend the name Redskins and the logo, which depicts a Native American.

It's wrong. I am as loyal a Redskins fan as there ever was or will be, but I say it's time to change.

Let me make one thing clear -- I have loved the Redskins for as long as I have loved football. Despite the inappropriate mascot, that does not make me a racist.

When I hear "Redskins," I don't think of American Indians on the warpath, or any other ridiculous stereotype. I think, "That's my team." As a kid, I didn't realize what the name meant any more than I realized "CHiPs" was short for California Highway Patrol.

Washington, my team, reminds me of everything that I like about football and sports. To say my emotions -- or those of other Washington fans -- are born out of racism would be unfair.

But the name Redskins is legitimately offensive and hurtful to many people. So it's time to move on.

It's not unprecedented. The Redskins' NBA neighbors changed their mascot from the Bullets to the Wizards in 1997. Owner Abe Pollin made the move in conjunction with the teamÕs anti-violence campaign.

That change was quite appropriate given the present climate of violence in America. And due to the fact that we now know better than to name our sports teams in ways that offend ethnic groups, it's time for the Redskins to change. Past time, actually. Naturally, I have a few suggestions:

Washington Independents -- Some teams take names that relate to their location (the new Houston Texans, for example). The team does play in our nation's capital, so a political nickname would seem appropriate.

You could make an argument for the Washington Elephants, since all three of the franchise's Super Bowl victories came with Republicans in office (two with Reagan, one with the original George Bush). But then you would alienate the Democrats.

"Independents" solves the problem by invoking a political connection and celebrating a key characteristic of America.

Washington Deliverymen -- Don't scoff. Some teams have been named in honor of financial backers.

Take the Green Bay Packers. They got their name because founder Curly Lambeau's employer, the Indian Packing Company, put up money for the team's equipment in 1919.

Redskins owner Daniel Snyder sold the naming rights of the Redskins stadium, changing Jack Kent Cooke Stadium (named for the teamÕs former owner) to FedEx Field. Hence, the Deliverymen.

Besides acknowledging that money not only talks, but dominates the conversation in today's NFL, the name implies reliability and speed -- two qualities the team could certainly use.

Washington Capitalists -- Hey, as long as we are considering names that acknowledge the power of the almighty dollar, what's wrong with this one?

Not only does it symbolize our economic system, it could also stand for Snyder. Last season, he was accused of trying to buy a Super Bowl by bringing numerous high-priced veterans to the team.

It didn't work, but that's no reason to ignore the NFL tradition of naming a team after its owner. The Chicago Bears started life as the Decatur Staleys (really), sponsored by the A.E. Staley Manufacturing Company.

Maybe that's not a tradition, but it is precedent. And don't you think "Capitalists" sounds better than the Washington Snyders?

Washington Sentinels -- The Toronto Raptors got their name after velociraptors terrorized scientists and sightseers in "Jurassic Park." So why not pull Washington's new name from their Keanu Reeves-led counterparts in "The Replacements?"

Sentinels is a name that implies strength and a steadfast nature.

In the words of Keanu, "Whoa!"

But actually, none of these names quite fit. They're okay, but the Independents won't get the votes, the Deliverymen won't deliver, the Capitalists would be too expensive and the Sentinels cheated to win a game in the movie.

No, the new name for the Washington team can only be:

Washington Hogs -- "Hogs" was the nickname given to the fearsome Washington offensive line of the '80s and early '90s, a line that featured guys like Jim Lachey, Joe Jacoby, Jeff Bostic and Russ Grimm.

Fans still talk about these guys. The Hogs inspired the team's signature fans, the Hogettes -- a group of burly men who don dresses and pig snouts for games. Hey, to each his own.

Changing the team's name to the Hogs would honor the great players and the great fans. It would right a tremendous wrong while allowing fans to hold on to the good points of their team.

So see, I am a real Washington fan.

Even if I don't wear a dress and a pig nose.

Evan Bevins loves the Washington Redskins enough to write about them, but he won't wear a dress and a pig snout for them. Comments can be sent to him at parthenon@marshall.edu.